Title: “Hartley Hare: The Puppet With More Sass Than My Therapist”
If you’ve never heard of Hartley Hare, then sweetie, sit down, grab a cup of tea, and prepare to question your entire childhood. Or—if you’re like me—relive a part of it that felt like a fever dream stitched together with old socks, sarcasm, and the occasional existential crisis in puppet form.
Hartley wasn’t just any hare. He wasn’t the Easter Bunny. He wasn’t Thumper. He wasn’t even the kind of fluffy friend you’d buy from a gift shop. Hartley Hare was raw, gritty, and deeply unsettling. And he was perfect.
He starred in a British children’s show called Pipkins, which ran from 1973 to 1981. But this wasn’t your average wholesome puppet parade. No, no. Pipkins was different. Weirdly different. And Hartley Hare was its shining, bug-eyed, slightly moth-eaten star.
So… Who Was Hartley Hare?
Let’s be clear: Hartley was never trying to be your friend. He didn’t care if you liked him. He didn’t even care if you understood him. He was there to say what everyone else was too polite to say—with drama, flair, and often a complete disregard for social norms.
Voiced (and originally puppeteered) by Nigel Plaskitt, Hartley had a voice that sounded like your uncle after three glasses of sherry. He was neurotic, self-absorbed, sarcastic, and occasionally kind in the most backhanded way. Basically, he was the puppet version of your inner monologue when you’re on your third day of no sleep and existential dread.
Pipkins: The Show That Raised Us and Confused Us
Pipkins was supposed to be educational. It had other puppets like Pig, Topov the Monkey, Octavia Ostrich, and Tortoise (yes, that was his name). Each episode dealt with themes like recycling, friendship, or—no joke—death.
Yeah. British children’s television in the ’70s didn’t mess around.
But even when an episode dealt with something simple like planting seeds, Hartley Hare would spiral into some kind of emotional meltdown about being ignored or misunderstood or possibly abducted by aliens (okay, not that last one—but it felt possible with him).
Let’s Talk About Those Eyes
Hartley’s design was… how do I put this gently?
Absolutely terrifying.
He looked like he crawled out of a thrift store and saw things he could never unsee. His fur was patchy. His nose twitched like it had a vendetta. And his eyes—wild, manic, and judgmental—stared straight into your soul and asked, “Why haven’t you filed your taxes yet?”
Still, despite looking like he’d haunt your dreams, there was something magnetic about him. Kids loved him. Adults feared him. And puppeteers probably needed a stiff drink after operating him.
Sass, Insecurity, and Early 2000s Tumblr Energy (Before Tumblr Existed)
Here’s the thing about Hartley: he wasn’t just weird for the sake of being weird. He was real. Like, painfully real. He got jealous. He overshared. He was self-deprecating in a way that made you laugh and also worry if he was okay.
He was basically the British version of Eeyore if Eeyore did stand-up comedy and went through a midlife crisis on camera.
Hartley Hare gave kids something they didn’t even realize they needed: emotional honesty. Not the filtered, “It’s okay to feel sad sometimes” honesty. No. Hartley would look straight at the camera and go, “No one listens to me and I hate everything.”
And kids loved him for it.
Was He a Bad Influence?
Some people thought so. Critics said he was “too dark,” “too moody,” and “unfit for children’s programming.”
But maybe that’s exactly why he mattered. He didn’t sugarcoat life. He didn’t play nice just because. He showed that emotions are messy. That sometimes you yell. Sometimes you whine. Sometimes you stare at the void and it stares back at you in puppet form.
And kids, being the intuitive creatures they are, got it.
Hartley in Glasses? Yes, That’s a Thing.
There was even an episode where Hartley wore glasses—and not in a cute, nerdy way. More like “the optometrist gave up halfway and said, ‘Sure, why not’” kind of way.
He looked like a university professor who’d lost tenure and was now living off custard creams and bad decisions. It was fabulous.
Hartley Hare Puppet for Sale? You Brave, Brave Soul
In case you’re wondering: yes, you can actually buy a Hartley Hare puppet if you search hard enough online. There are a few vintage listings floating around like haunted relics from the past. Be warned though—owning one is not for the faint-hearted. It’s like bringing home a cursed doll with unresolved emotional trauma.
But hey, if you do get one, at least you’ll never feel alone again. Creeped out? Sure. But not alone.
What Happened After Pipkins?
After Pipkins ended in 1981, Hartley went off into semi-retirement. Nigel Plaskitt continued a successful career in puppeteering (including working on Spitting Image and The Muppet Show), but Hartley never returned in any official sequel or reboot.
And honestly? That’s probably for the best.
Hartley is a time capsule. He belongs to an era when children’s TV could be bold, bizarre, and deeply human. Bringing him back now would either sanitize him or turn him into a meme. Either way, it wouldn’t be the same.
Let him live in our memories, wild-eyed and wonderful.
Final Thoughts: What Hartley Taught Me
We all have a little Hartley in us. That voice that says, “Why is everyone ignoring me?” or “Am I the only one here with common sense?” or “Maybe I’ll just eat biscuits until the existential crisis passes.”
Hartley wasn’t polished. He wasn’t cute. He wasn’t designed to be your best friend.
He was honest.
And in a world of filters and fakeness, maybe that’s exactly what we still need.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to search eBay for a secondhand hare puppet with unresolved emotional baggage.
Here are 10 links you might enjoy:
- Hartley Hare on YouTube
- Nigel Plaskitt – Puppeteer Behind Hartley
- Vintage Pipkins Episodes – BFI
- Hartley Hare Puppet on eBay
- Pipkins Fan Forum
- Retro British TV Shows on IMDb
- History of Children’s Puppets in the UK
- Pipkins on Nostalgia Central
- Hartley Hare Tribute Tumblr
- Spitting Image Puppets – Where Are They Now?
Tell me—if Hartley were alive today, what do you think he’d post on TikTok? Or would he just rant about oat milk in a bathrobe? Either way, I’d follow.
