The Complete Guide to the Penis Putter: Novelty Golf at Its Funniest
Introduction
Golf is often seen as a sport of etiquette, tradition, and precision. But anyone who has attended a bachelor party, corporate team-building retreat, or novelty golf event knows there’s another side—one filled with humor, lighthearted competition, and quirky accessories.
One of the most infamous and conversation-starting golf novelties is the Penis Putter. As the name suggests, this gag gift is exactly what it sounds like: a golf putter shaped, decorated, or designed to resemble male genitalia. While it’s not part of any PGA-approved equipment list, the penis putter has found its niche in the world of novelty sports gear.
In this article, we’ll explore:
- What exactly a penis putter is
- Types and designs
- Common occasions for using one
- Buying and customization options
- Etiquette for gag golf gear
- Its place in pop culture
1. What Is a Penis Putter?
A penis putter is a novelty golf club—usually a putter—featuring a handle, shaft, or club head that’s shaped like, decorated as, or humorously themed after a penis.
They can range from subtle designs with small, cheeky details to full-on comedy props with exaggerated shapes and colors.
Key Features:
- Functionality: Often works like a normal putter, though the design may slightly affect play.
- Material: Usually metal or plastic for the shaft; rubber, resin, or molded plastic for the novelty element.
- Purpose: Primarily comedic; some are fully functional for casual play.
2. Types of Penis Putters
Not all penis putters are the same—designs vary depending on the level of humor intended.
A. Handle-Based Designs
- The grip is molded into a phallic shape.
- Can be subtle enough to go unnoticed from a distance.
- Popular for bachelor parties where a functional club is still needed.
B. Shaft Embellishments
- Decorative wraps, engravings, or molded shapes along the shaft.
- Often paired with humorous colors or text.
C. Club Head Designs
- The actual striking head is shaped like a penis.
- Usually less functional but more visually comedic.
- Common in “crazy golf” or mini-golf setups.
D. Full Novelty Clubs
- The entire club—from grip to head—is one continuous novelty shape.
- More of a prop than a golf tool.
3. Bull Penis Putters
One of the more unique variations is the bull penis putter—yes, made from actual bull penis.
These are usually dried, treated, and shaped into a handle, then fitted with a golf shaft and head. They’re often marketed as “authentic cowboy golf gifts” in Western-themed shops.
4. When Are Penis Putters Used?
While you’re unlikely to see one at Augusta National, penis putters have their place.
- Bachelor & Bachelorette Parties: A guaranteed laugh during golf-themed activities.
- Gag Gifts: For birthdays, retirements, or golf league “joke awards.”
- Mini-Golf Competitions: Particularly in adult-themed mini-golf venues.
- Office or Corporate Parties: Lighten the mood with a silly putting competition.
- Comedy Golf Tournaments: Fundraisers or casual events with novelty rules.
5. Pop Culture and Media References
Penis putters occasionally pop up in:
- Comedy Films: Props in raunchy comedies or spoofs.
- Viral Videos: Social media prank challenges.
- Gag Gift Lists: Featured in “funniest golf accessories” roundups.
They tap into the long tradition of “dirty humor” in party games.
6. Where to Buy a Penis Putter
While you won’t find them in mainstream golf pro shops, there are plenty of options:
Novelty Gift Retailers
- Online gag gift stores often stock several styles.
- Usually labeled under “adult novelty” or “bachelor party” categories.
Golf Accessory Websites
- Some niche golf shops sell themed clubs for fun tournaments.
Custom Makers
- Etsy sellers and custom prop makers can design a one-of-a-kind penis putter to match a theme.
Western Supply Stores (Bull Penis Variants)
- Specialize in authentic animal-based novelty items.
7. Customization Options
Want to take your penis putter to the next level?
- Engraved Names or Dates: Perfect for commemorating a party or event.
- Color Themes: Match wedding or team colors for extra laughs.
- LED Lights: Glow-in-the-dark novelty putters for nighttime events.
- Themed Accessories: Matching golf balls with cheeky designs.
8. Playing with a Penis Putter: Rules and Etiquette
If you plan to bring a penis putter to the course:
- Check with Management: Some venues have strict equipment policies.
- Use for Fun Holes Only: Keep serious rounds separate from novelty clubs.
- Avoid Offense: Not all players will appreciate adult humor—know your audience.
- Be Ready for Laughs: Expect people to ask to take photos.
9. Durability and Functionality
Most penis putters are sturdy enough for casual putting, but they’re not built for high-level competition.
- The balance may differ from standard putters.
- Novelty shapes can affect ball control.
- Materials like molded resin are durable but may chip if mishandled.
10. Cleaning and Care
Like any golf club:
- Wipe down after use.
- Store in a dry place.
- For bull penis putters, follow specific care instructions to preserve the leather-like texture.
11. Pros and Cons of Owning a Penis Putter
Pros:
- Guaranteed conversation starter.
- Fun for themed events.
- Great gift for golf lovers with a sense of humor.
Cons:
- Limited use in serious games.
- May not appeal to everyone.
- Some novelty versions are cheaply made.
12. Price Range
- Basic Plastic Models: $20–$40.
- Metal Shaft with Novelty Grip: $40–$80.
- Custom or Bull Penis Putters: $100–$250+.
13. Alternatives to the Penis Putter
If you want golf humor without the adult theme:
- Flamingo-shaped putters.
- Oversized “giant” putters.
- Beer can or bottle-shaped clubs.
14. Final Thoughts
The penis putter is not about improving your short game—it’s about making people laugh, loosening up competitive tension, and creating memorable moments on the course.
For the right setting and the right crowd, it’s the perfect blend of golf meets gag gift. Just remember—while it may be hilarious at a bachelor party, it’s probably not your best choice for the club championship.
References & Further Reading
- golfdigest.com – Golf culture and humor articles
- golf.com – Lifestyle and golf gear features
- pgatour.com – Official golf rules and updates
- golfgalaxy.com – Golf equipment retailer
- noveltygolfshop.com – Specialty gag golf clubs
- etsy.com – Custom novelty putters
- reddit.com – Golf humor and novelty club discussions
- buzzfeed.com – Funny gift lists and pop culture coverage
- mensjournal.com – Lifestyle and gear reviews
- thechive.com – Humor and viral golf moments
