The Complete Guide to Penis Putters: Novelty Golf Clubs, Gag Gifts, and Conversation Starters
Golf is often seen as a traditional, even serious sport, but not everything on the green needs to be buttoned-up. For those who enjoy a laugh (or a blush) on the fairway, the penis putter—also known as a novelty or gag golf putter—has emerged as one of the cheekiest golf accessories around.
From bull penis putters to custom novelty designs, these clubs add humor to putting practice, bachelor parties, and friendly weekend rounds. This guide will cover what penis putters are, their history, where to buy them, customization options, and how to use them appropriately without crossing any lines.
1. What Is a Penis Putter?
A penis putter is exactly what it sounds like—a golf putter shaped like or incorporating a phallic design. These novelty clubs are typically:
- Gag gifts for birthdays, bachelor parties, or retirement celebrations.
- Conversation pieces during casual, friendly golf outings.
- Collectibles for fans of unusual sports equipment.
They may take different forms:
- Shaped Club Heads – The head of the putter is designed to resemble male anatomy.
- Handle/Grip Designs – The grip or shaft has a humorous, adult-themed shape.
- Material Novelty Putters – Some are crafted from unconventional materials (including the infamous bull penis putter).
2. Bull Penis Putters: The Wild Side of Golf Gear
The most famous subcategory is the bull penis putter, which uses a real (treated and preserved) bull penis shaft attached to a golf putter head.
- Origin: These have roots in rural gag gift culture, particularly in Western U.S. ranching communities.
- Construction: The organ is dried, treated, and stiffened to form a surprisingly sturdy shaft.
- Purpose: Primarily novelty—while technically functional, they’re more often displayed as conversation pieces than used for serious competition.
3. Why People Buy Penis Putters
3.1 Humor
Golf is known for tradition, etiquette, and calm—so a penis putter’s shock value generates laughs.
3.2 Gifts
Perfect for:
- Bachelor and bachelorette parties
- Milestone birthdays (40th, 50th, 60th)
- White elephant or gag gift exchanges
3.3 Collectibility
Novelty golf clubs are niche collectibles, and certain limited designs can become rare over time.
3.4 Ice-Breakers
In casual corporate or charity golf outings, a funny club can lighten the mood.
4. Where to Buy Penis Putters
4.1 Online Retailers
- Amazon – Variety of novelty putters (though many are clearly labeled “for gag purposes only”).
- eBay – Vintage and handcrafted penis putters, including bull penis designs.
- Etsy – Custom, handmade designs from independent makers.
4.2 Specialty Golf Shops
Some independent golf stores carry novelty gear in-store but not online.
4.3 Adult Gift & Novelty Stores
Brick-and-mortar shops that sell bachelor party supplies often stock penis putters.
5. Custom Penis Putters
If you want a truly unique gag gift, custom makers can:
- Engrave names, dates, or inside jokes.
- Create putter heads modeled after specific themes.
- Incorporate unique materials (wood, metal, resin).
Custom work often costs more than mass-produced novelty clubs, but it’s also more personal and memorable.
6. How Functional Are They?
Penis putters are generally not designed for professional play:
- Balance & Weight: Many novelty putters are poorly balanced for serious putting accuracy.
- Grip Comfort: Humorous shapes can make holding the club awkward.
- Legality: USGA rules prohibit non-conforming club designs in official tournaments.
However, for casual, friendly golf or mini-golf, they can work just fine—if you’re not too embarrassed to use them.
7. Etiquette for Using a Penis Putter
- Know Your Audience – Great for close friends, not for conservative company events.
- Mind the Venue – Some golf courses may prohibit explicit novelty clubs.
- Don’t Disrupt Play – A laugh is fine, but keep the game moving.
8. Gift-Giving Ideas Featuring Penis Putters
- Bachelor Party Golf Outing: Give the groom a penis putter to use for every putt.
- Birthday Roast: Present as part of a humorous “golf survival kit.”
- Gag Trophy: Attach a small plaque and use it as a joke award for “Worst Putter.”
9. Pairing Accessories
You can pair a penis putter with:
- Novelty golf balls (glow-in-the-dark, glitter, or printed with humorous designs).
- Joke head covers shaped like animals or cartoon characters.
- Themed golf towels with cheeky slogans.
10. Collecting Penis Putters
Collectors often seek:
- Rare or discontinued designs.
- Handmade artisan novelty clubs.
- Clubs tied to specific events or companies.
Value depends on rarity, condition, and (for bull penis putters) authenticity of materials.
11. Caring for a Novelty Putter
- Cleaning: Use mild soap and water on metal parts; avoid harsh chemicals on novelty materials.
- Storage: Keep in a cool, dry place to prevent deterioration (especially for organic material like bull penis shafts).
- Display: Many owners prefer to mount them on a wall or in a display stand.
12. Safety Considerations
- Avoid swinging novelty clubs at full force—materials may not be as durable as standard clubs.
- Keep out of reach of children due to adult-themed design.
- If using a bull penis putter, ensure it’s properly preserved to prevent odor or degradation.
13. Alternatives to Penis Putters
If you like the idea of a novelty club but want something less explicit:
- Oversized putter heads shaped like animals or cartoon icons.
- Brightly colored or patterned grips.
- Miniature putters designed for desk golf.
14. Pop Culture References
Penis putters have occasionally been featured in:
- Adult comedy sketches.
- Social media golf prank videos.
- Bachelor party highlight reels on YouTube and TikTok.
While not mainstream, their shock factor keeps them a recurring gag in certain circles.
15. The Bull Penis Putter as a Conversation Piece
Even non-golfers often stop to inspect a bull penis putter—it’s unusual, handmade, and a little outrageous. In rustic bars, golf-themed man caves, or hunting lodges, they’re often displayed next to mounted antlers or other “manly” décor.
16. How Much Do Penis Putters Cost?
- Mass-Produced Novelty Putters: $20–$50
- Bull Penis Putters: $60–$150 (depending on craftsmanship)
- Custom Designs: $100–$300+
Prices vary based on materials, artistry, and whether the club is functional.
17. Final Thoughts
A penis putter isn’t for every golfer—but for those who enjoy blending humor with sport, it can be a hilarious addition to the game. Whether it’s the shock value of a bull penis putter or a brightly painted novelty design, these clubs are meant to create laughs, memories, and maybe even a few surprisingly good putts.
Just remember: keep it lighthearted, use it in the right setting, and don’t expect it to help you win the Masters.
References (10 Domains)
- usga.org – Golf equipment rules
- pgatour.com – Golf news & gear insights
- golfdigest.com – Golf club reviews & features
- golfchannel.com – Golf tips & culture stories
- amazon.com – Novelty golf putters for sale
- ebay.com – Vintage and collectible golf gear
- etsy.com – Custom and handmade novelty clubs
- golfmonthly.com – Golf equipment advice
- golfgalaxy.com – Retail golf products
- prankplace.com – Gag and novelty gift retailer
