Writing an Obituary: Finding the Words When You Don’t Know What to Say
Life is filled with beautiful moments, but also, unfortunately, with some pretty difficult ones. Among those hard moments is the loss of a loved one. When someone close to us passes away, we’re often left with a mix of grief, disbelief, and—let’s be honest—a touch of panic over all the things we suddenly have to do. You know, like handling arrangements, finding a venue, choosing flowers, and, oh, yes—writing an obituary.
Ah, yes. The obituary. The delicate art of capturing a person’s life in a short, concise paragraph or two. A daunting task, for sure. It’s not just a few sentences. It’s the final tribute to someone you loved, someone who mattered. So, where do you even begin? Do you just throw in their name, the date they were born, and hope the rest will magically come together? Or do you aim for something more personal, something that celebrates their life and the mark they left on this world?
Let’s take a deep breath together, shall we? Whether you’re writing an obituary for a close relative, a family friend, or even someone whose life you weren’t as familiar with, there’s no need to stress. I’m here to walk you through it in the most soothing way possible. And by the end of this blog, you’ll be equipped with a solid template that’ll make this difficult task feel a little more manageable.
The Basics of an Obituary
First things first—what exactly is an obituary? Well, it’s a short notice about someone’s passing, typically published in a newspaper or online, that shares essential information about the person’s life and death. It usually includes details like:
- Full Name: Sometimes including a nickname or how the person was affectionately known (Grandpa Jim, Auntie Sue).
- Date of Birth and Death: Simple, yet essential.
- Life Achievements: Where they worked, what they loved, any major accomplishments or roles they held in their community.
- Family: Spouse, children, siblings, etc. Don’t forget to list the surviving family members.
- Funeral Arrangements: This is often included to let people know when and where services will be held.
So, in a nutshell, an obituary is a respectful, concise summary of someone’s life, their achievements, and the legacy they leave behind.
Starting with a Template
For a lot of us, the idea of writing an obituary can feel like trying to put together a puzzle when the pieces don’t quite fit. Where do you start? What do you say without feeling like you’re too clinical, too distant? Don’t worry. Templates are your best friend here. And no, using a template doesn’t make you cold or impersonal. It gives you a structure, a framework to build on. Plus, it’s incredibly helpful when you’re trying to juggle grief with the task at hand.
When searching for an obituary template, you’ll likely come across a variety of options. Free ones, downloadable ones, ones that come with fancy fonts, and some that are as simple as you can get. But no matter which you choose, keep in mind that an obituary template is just that—a template. It’s meant to guide you, not limit you.
Structuring Your Obituary
Now that we’ve got the basics covered, let’s talk about how you can structure your obituary using a template.
- The Opening Line: Name, Date, and Life Summary
The first part of the obituary is usually the most straightforward. It’s like the introduction to a story that’s about to unfold. It typically starts with the full name of the deceased, followed by their age, date of birth, and the date of their passing. You can also add a brief mention of the cause of death here (if appropriate and desired). This is where you establish the who, what, when, and where. Here’s an example:
“Johnathan ‘Johnny’ Smith, age 78, of Springfield, passed away on March 3rd, 2024, peacefully in his home after a brave battle with cancer.”
Notice how we’re stating the basics first: Name, age, location, date of death. It’s simple and to the point but leaves room for you to expand.
- Life and Achievements
This is the section where you get to talk about the person’s life—who they were, what they did, and why they mattered. Were they a teacher who touched the lives of countless students? Did they spend years volunteering at their local church? Were they known for their incredible sense of humor or their legendary chili recipe? This is the heart of the obituary.
If you have a template, it will typically have a section where you can plug in these details. Think of it like filling in the blanks with a life story. Here’s an example:
“Johnny was born on May 15th, 1945, in Springfield, Missouri, and spent his early years on his family’s farm before moving to the city. After graduating from Springfield High School, he pursued a degree in education and went on to teach history at Springfield Middle School for 35 years, where he became beloved by both students and colleagues alike. His passion for history was only matched by his love of fishing and watching his beloved St. Louis Cardinals play. Johnny was a devoted father, grandfather, and friend who always put others before himself.”
- Family and Survivors
Next up is the family. Most obituary templates will have a section dedicated to listing the surviving family members. This section is where you list the names of loved ones—children, grandchildren, siblings, and sometimes close friends who felt like family. It’s a way to honor those who were left behind and let others know who they can reach out to. Here’s an example:
“Johnny was preceded in death by his wife, Barbara, and his daughter, Emily. He is survived by his son, Mark Smith, his daughter-in-law, Jennifer, and his four grandchildren, Sarah, Alex, Jacob, and Lily. He is also survived by his siblings, Tom and Susan, and countless friends who cherished his presence in their lives.”
- Funeral and Memorial Information
The final piece of the obituary usually includes the details for the funeral service or memorial. You can also include details on any charitable donations or memorial contributions. Here’s an example of what that section might look like:
“A memorial service will be held at Springfield Funeral Home on Saturday, March 10th, 2024, at 2:00 p.m. The family requests that, in lieu of flowers, donations be made to the Springfield Animal Shelter in Johnny’s name.”
This section is a crucial part of an obituary, as it provides details for people who want to attend the services or show support to the family.
Personalizing Your Obituary
While a template can give you the structure you need, it’s the personal touches that will make the obituary feel like a true tribute to the person. Add in specific memories, anecdotes, and qualities that made the deceased so special. Maybe they had a nickname that everyone in the family used, or maybe they had a signature dish they always brought to family gatherings. These are the little details that make an obituary feel personal and heartfelt.
If the deceased had a favorite saying, a funny quote, or a religious verse that they lived by, consider including it at the end. It will leave readers with a sense of who the person truly was.
Free Obituary Templates: A Lifeline in a Difficult Time
If you’re unsure where to start, don’t worry. There are tons of free obituary templates available online, and many of them are fully customizable. Microsoft Word, Google Docs, and other word processing programs often offer free templates, which can make your job even easier. Just pick the one that best suits the tone you want to set, and start filling in the blanks.
Final Thoughts
Writing an obituary is never easy, but it’s a beautiful way to honor someone’s life. While it can be emotionally difficult to sit down and write, using a template can guide you through the process, allowing you to focus on the love, joy, and memories that person left behind.
Remember: The words you choose don’t have to be perfect, and you don’t have to do it alone. Reach out to other family members, share stories, and work together to create a tribute that will remind everyone of the person’s impact on the world. An obituary is a snapshot of a life well-lived, and with a little help from a template, it can be one of the most meaningful things you do in the midst of your grief.
