Today is the ninth day of the ninth lunar month, the Double Ninth Festival. There are many poems about this festival. Among them, perhaps the most famous is Wang Wei’s “On the Ninth Day of the Ninth Month, Thinking of My Brothers in Shandong,” which goes: “Alone in a foreign land as a stranger, every holiday increases my longing for home. I know my brothers are climbing the heights, and one person is missing among the blooming dogwood.” This poem has been included in the third-grade Chinese textbook, making it a must-learn for every Chinese primary school student.
Not only are there many poems about the Double Ninth Festival, but several of them share a common theme: friendship. For instance, in Wang Wei’s line, “one person is missing among the blooming dogwood,” and Meng Haoran’s “When will we drink together and get drunk on Double Ninth Festival?” and “When the Double Ninth arrives, I will come again to enjoy the chrysanthemums.” From this perspective, reading poetry during the Double Ninth Festival can be seen as making friends with ancient poets.
If you ask which poet is most suitable to be a friend, those familiar with literature or history might say Su Dongpo. Last year, China Central Television even produced a documentary titled “My Friend Su Dongpo.” Yu Guangzhong once said that if he were to travel, he wouldn’t want to be with Li Bai because he was irresponsible and lacked a sense of reality. He wouldn’t want to be with Du Fu either, as he was too somber and serious. However, Su Dongpo would be a great companion—he is truly a fascinating person.
Why is Su Dongpo considered the most suitable friend? Let’s start with one of his poems about the Double Ninth Festival.
You’ve surely heard of the idiom “Tomorrow’s yellow flowers.” The “yellow flowers” here refer to chrysanthemums. There is a custom of appreciating chrysanthemums during the Double Ninth Festival, and it is said that the chrysanthemums look their best on this day. After Double Ninth, the flowers begin to wilt. The idiom “Tomorrow’s yellow flowers” signifies that a matter has missed its best opportunity.
This idiom actually comes from a poem by Su Shi. In 1078, during the Double Ninth Festival, Su Shi was serving as the governor of Xuzhou. That year, his good friend Wang Gong visited him. The Huanglou (Yellow Tower) had just been built in Xuzhou, so Su Shi hosted Wang Gong at the tower.
In ancient times, literati enjoyed writing poems for each other. There is a term called “ciyun,” meaning to write a poem using the rhyme of another poet’s work. Su Shi wrote a poem titled “Ninth Day Replying to Wang Gong.”
“I am drunk and want to sleep; please do not leave yet. I have already been dealing with affairs in Qingzhou. Frost on my hair is three thousand strands, while my poetic rhythm lags behind you by a hundred measures. I have heard that you are closing your eastern pavilion; allow this old man to climb the southern tower. There is no need to rush home; tomorrow’s yellow flowers will only make the butterflies sad.”
Indeed, “tomorrow’s yellow flowers” comes from here. The last two lines mean that since we are together now, let’s stay longer and not rush to part. Otherwise, you will regret it later, just like seeing wilted yellow flowers after the Double Ninth, which makes even the butterflies sad.
However, saying that Su Dongpo is a suitable friend is not just because he can write poetry; it is because he is a particularly interesting person. Whether you are in good times or bad, having Su Shi as a friend will greatly enhance your long-term happiness.
Why do I say that?
Let’s begin again with the story of Su Shi and Wang Gong. As mentioned earlier, in 1078, Su Shi and Wang Gong reunited in Xuzhou. But if you know a bit of history, you might remember that 1078 was a crucial year. Yes, it was the year before the Wutai Poetry Incident. In 1079, one of the biggest calamities in Su Shi’s life occurred—the Wutai Poetry Incident—where many of his friends were implicated.
Among those affected, Wang Gong was the one who was exiled the farthest. To say Wang Gong was unfortunate, he originally held a good position in Bianjing (present-day Kaifeng, Henan) as the editor of the national library. However, he was demoted all the way to the remote Lingnan region, in what is now Binyang, Guangxi. In contrast, Su Shi was only sent to Huangzhou (today’s Huanggang, Hubei).
They say adversity reveals true friendship. During Wang Gong’s exile, Su Shi wrote him letters every so often. Notably, the content of these letters was quite amusing. Apart from comforting Wang Gong, Su Shi also advised him to practice “foot massage techniques” to strengthen his body. Yes, you read that right—foot massage techniques, which essentially meant giving oneself a foot massage.
Moreover, Su Shi was serious about exercising. In addition to foot massage, he also had considerable knowledge of yoga. Indeed, he practiced yoga. At that time, yoga had already been introduced from India to China, primarily practiced by Taoists. After being exiled to Huangzhou in 1079, Su Shi began practicing yoga in 1080. It is said that during the winter of 1080, he even secluded himself in a Taoist temple for 49 days, dedicating himself solely to yoga.
You can see that Su Dongpo’s openness to life is not about self-destructing or feeling disheartened. He truly knows how to enjoy the present state, whether during good fortune or misfortune. Lin Yutang described Su Dongpo in “The Biography of Su Dongpo” as a character with a complex personality and many facets, making him difficult to understand. Because he is proficient in philosophy, he cannot be a Taoist. Similarly, because he deeply studies Confucianism, he cannot be a drunken man. He understands life too well and cherishes it too much, naturally unwilling to spend his life completely on wine and women. He is a poet who loves nature and holds a healthy, mysterious view of life.
Su Dongpo himself once said, “The mountains and rivers, the wind and moon, have no permanent master; those who are idle are the true masters.” You can appreciate this sentiment.
This means that when things are good, one should strive in their career; when things are bad, one should enjoy life. Having a friend like this is certainly appealing, right? Just as Lin Yutang stated in “The Biography of Su Dongpo,” there isn’t much difference in happiness between a luxurious life and a simple one. The glory of high positions is only enviable in the eyes of those who lack the ability and qualifications.
Alright, I’ve digressed a bit. Let’s continue the story of Su Shi and Wang Gong. During Wang Gong’s exile, there was a woman named Rou Nu, who had been a singing girl and remained loyal to him. When Wang Gong finished his exile and was returning home, he happened to meet Su Shi in Huangzhou. Seeing that his old friend had returned with his wife, Su Shi was excited and wanted to catch up with them. He asked Rou Nu about their journey and how they had fared in the remote Lingnan region. Rou Nu replied, “Where the heart is at peace, there is my home.”
You can imagine the impact of hearing such words from a singing girl on Su Shi. He was so moved that he nearly felt his hair stand on end. Thus, he wrote down those famous lines of poetry:
“After a long journey home, my face has grown gaunter, yet I smile, still carrying the fragrance of the Lingnan plums. One may ask, is Lingnan truly not good? It’s just that where the heart is at peace is my home.”
Wang Gong and Rou Nu’s story has since been passed down as a beautiful tale, thanks to Su Shi’s poetry.
This reflects Su Shi’s approach to friendship. Whether you are successful or unsuccessful, or in joyful or sorrowful times, he can always find a very profound perspective to appreciate you. In other words, Su Shi can always make you feel seen. Not just by him, but through his poetry, you can be recognized by people even a thousand years later.
Additionally, Su Shi had another trait—he remembered the good in others. As long as he considered someone a friend, he would often speak highly of them, no matter where he went, even during turbulent times.
To put it in modern terms, the wind that misses you in Huangzhou finally reaches Danzhou, then to Yingzhou, then to Huizhou, and finally to Yongzhou.
In short, wherever Su Shi went, the wind of his thoughts about you would follow. Who wouldn’t want a friend like that?
However, some may say, “He’s a great poet; of course, he would befriend someone like Wang Gong, a poet of his caliber. Would he care about ordinary folks like us?”
Surprisingly, Su Shi truly had no prejudice when making friends. He once told his younger brother, Su Zhe, “I can accompany the Jade Emperor above and drink with beggars below. I see no bad people in the world.”
In other words, he could discuss grand affairs with the Jade Emperor and share drinks with beggars. To him, there were no bad people at all.
For instance, when Su Shi was exiled to Hainan at the age of 62, he was considered a young elder by the locals. He met a poor fisherman named Ma Yuzhai, who was used to catching fish in the sea but had long been unable to catch anything. Upon learning this, Su Shi felt sympathy and encouraged him, saying, “Look, my friend, I will compose a poem for you, and I hope you can one day catch the fish.”
Thus, he composed “The Fisherman”:
“I have wandered among the waves, seeking the tide for years. I yearn for a life of leisure, free from worldly strife. To the north, the lanterns are bright, the vermilion doorways are closed. Though my heart aches for the bright moonlit night, I shall stand by the river and listen to the evening bells.”
This poem inspired Ma Yuzhai to fish for a long time until he finally caught a fish.
In conclusion, Su Shi represents a person who can fully enjoy life, cherishing every friend, every conversation, and every encounter, whether joyful or sorrowful. You can see how valuable he would be as a friend!
Whether it’s the Double Ninth Festival or any day, we can learn a lot from Su Dongpo: Life is short, and every moment is worthy of being cherished. So, cherish your friends, no matter who they are!
